The Search for Uncle Charlie: Secrets

The Search for Uncle Charlie: Secrets: "Grandma never talked about her family. She would mention her brothers from time to time--I knew they were John, Thomas, Andrew and Har..."

Secrets

Grandma never talked about her family.  She would mention her brothers from time to time--I knew they were John, Thomas, Andrew and Harry.  Her mother, Mary Elizabeth Diamond was a Protestant, born in England, who converted to Catholicism when she married her father, Andrew Riley.  James Riley, her Grandfather, fought in the Civil War, and her uncle, Tom Riley, was a member of the NYPD.  That is all I really knew when I began to research the family.

My great grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Riley, died in August 1943.  She had a stroke on the 5th Avenue trolley, and was taken to Kings County Hospital.  Grandma wanted to transfer her Mother to a private hospital , saying that 'my Mother worked hard all her life; she had nothing, and now she's dying in a public hospital."  It was sad, and Grandma, being a good Catholic, probably felt guilt that her Mother died on the way home from a visit with her.  

But I can only speculate if there was a deeper layer to Grandma's emotion.  Mary Elizabeth Riley's grandfather, Henry Hignell, died in the Joint County Lunatic Asylum in 1892--it was in Abergavenny, Wales.  The Diamond family had emigrated to New York in 1881.  Henry's sister, Mary Hignell, was literate--she signed the parish register at her brother's wedding, so I presume she wrote the family in New York when her brother died.  It probably became a source of shame, guilty and sorrow that a loved one died in a pauper's hospital.  I'll never know for certain, unless I unearth a cache of family letters discussing this subject.

I felt such pity for Henry Hignell, as well as for the Sisters, Sarah and Mary, who had to make the decision to take him to the workhouse.  Did his daughter, Mary Jane Diamond, ever feel guilty that she had not insisted her Father come to America with them?  Perhaps he was too hard for her to manage, along with her daughter, Mary Elizabeth, and her son, Charlie.  John Diamond may not have been thrilled with supporting another adult.  If I were a novelist, I could speculate until the cows came home, but as a genealogist ( amateur) I want to stick to the facts.

Family Tree

I wonder who coined the phrase " family tree' because it does not seem to apply to the Hignell/Collins branch of the family.  A tree has distinct, individual branches--but I would not describe either the Hignell or the Collins's of Newport, Wales as distinct.  If anything, they were more like garden ivy than a tree, spreading branches all over the garden, and crowding out other plants.

My Great Great Great Grandparents were Henry Hignell and Mary Ann Collins.  One of the witnesses at their wedding was William Hignell.  According to the Welsh censuses of 1841, 51, 61, etc. William's wife was named Sarah.  Their daughter was born about 1842.  When I checked freebmd.co.uk for a marriage record, it just so happened that William Hignell married Sarah Collins.  In the 1841 census, their is a Susan Collins living with them who is noted to be William's sister in law.  

Since I found Mary Ann Collins's baptismal record at Goldcliff, and she does not have sisters named Susan or Sarah, I presume they were cousins.  All the same, it's surprising how closely related the two families were.  I'm a little surprised that Henry's brother John didn't also marry a Collins, but I think he preferred the Prosser ladies, even if Wife no. 2 was 11 years older than he.

On a side note, I found Henry and Mary Hignell, brother and sister, in the 1880 Monmouthshire directory.  She is described as "Sextoness" a job she held for over 20 years.  Just love the phrase 'sextoness'.

Hignell Family Values

My maternal Grandma's family is far more complex than I ever imagined.  Take my great great great Grandfather, Henry Hignell.  He worked as a laborer, but ended his life in the Joint Counties Lunatic Asylum--a facility for paupers.  I doubt he was a private patient, because nobody in the family had any money.  His sisters were dressmakers, and one of them, Mary Hignell, was the sexton of Holy Trinity Church, Newport, in 1881. Henry's brother, John Hignell, may have had more money than his siblings which leads me to an interesting story.

In 1843, John Hignell married Rachel  Prosser, in Newport, Monmouthshire.  They had one surviving daughter, Ann, born in 1847.  Rachel Hignell died in the first quarter of 1850.  Her widower, John, remarried in December 1850, to Ann Waters, who was 11 years his senior.  When I checked the Michael John transcription for Newport marriages in 1850, it stated that Ann Waters' maiden name was Prosser.  So, did John Hignell marry his sister in law?  That might explain why the Prosser family took 17 years to pay John the sum of 50 pounds from Rachel's estate.

On the other hand, it could have been that another relative had a life estate in the property, which would not pass to her husband until that relative's death.  From the wording of the probate document, I believe it was a cash sum, not an estate.  

I have mixed emotions about this.  It's kind of creepy to marry your sister in law.  In the 17th and 18th century, Mr. and Mrs. Hignell might have been brought before the local magistrate.  All the same, I can't imagine it happening in my family--I have two married Sisters.  Suppose one Sister died, and the other Sister lost her husband.  I can't see  the survivors joining each other in the estate of holy matrimony.  

There's an interesting story here.  It needs further documentation--better order John Hignell's GRO license--for the second marriage.  If Rachel Prosser and Ann Prosser both have the same father, with the same profession, it's reasonable to infer they were Sisters.

Frere Jacques

It's amazing what a record search on ancestry.co.uk can reveal about an ancestor's life.  John Hignell  (1817-?) must have been quite a character.   He was my Great great great grandfather's brother, so I did an ancestry search on  him. His name turned up on the UK Probate index.  It said that his wife, Rachel, died in 1850, but he did not recieve 50 pounds from her estate until 1867.  17 years--what could have caused the delay?  Other Hignells who were affluent enough to have an estate had their wills probated in a few months.

So, I did a death record search for Rachel Hignell, of Newport Monmouthshire, and found she died in the first quarter of 1850.  Then, I did a full search for John Hignell on Ancestry--by the time of the Wales 1851 census, he has remarried to Ann Watters, a woman 10 years his senior  ( Ann Watters, a Victorian cougar-I salute you).  Then I backtracked to the freebmd.co.uk and searched for John Hignell marriage in 1850-52.  He remarried in December 1850.  Granted, he had a 4 year old daughter, Ann, but I do think it showed scant respect for Rachel Hignell.  

Fortunately, John Hignell married Rachel in 1845, and there were no other couples on the page, so I know Rachel's maiden name was Prosser.  Here's where it starts getting weird.  In the 1851 census, John and Ann Hignell are living with Ann Hignell, John and Rachel's 4 year old daughter,  Ann Watters Hignell's two teenage daughters, and John's former mother in law, Mary Prosser, 70 years old.  

Why was Mary Prosser living there?  John Hignell had a stepmother for his daughter, and she brought two older girls to the marriage.  Young Ann didn't lack for female company, so why was her maternal Grandma part of this one big happy family?  Even the Brady Bunch did not add Grandparents to the mix.  My guess is Grandmother Prosser did not trust 'that woman' to take care of her surviving Granddaughter.  Without any family letters, it's all conjecture on my part.

There's a fragment of data in my brain that said Ann Watters maiden name was also Prosser, but I have to find the record to prove it.  If true, that makes the whole situation even more volatile.  

Blessed Be the Tie that Binds

I am so mad at my Mother that I could spit nails. Yesterday, she woke up three times during the night, and by her final call at 7AM, I was so tired ( the first calls were at 428am, then 530) that I said "oh no, not again' and was given the cold shoulder for yelling at her.  As a caregiver, my role is to be totally subservient, and carry out all her instructions without protest.  

After thinking it over, I decided:  be nice no matter what she asks or what time she asks it.   This morning, she called me at 5am.  "Do you want to get up"?  I said "no, since it's only 5am".  So I got up at 7, helped transfer her from the bed to the wheelchair, and give her a pat on the head.  Mom yells "don't pretend to be nice; I'm angry at you".  She has an idea that she is awake, I must keep her company, and I am a bad daughter because I choose to go back to sleep once I finish taking care of her.  Even though I have chronic hepatitis and diabetes, and have often neglected my own health to look after Mom.  She's become totally self absorbed--which is no surprise, given her age (84) and history of TIA's.
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Mom apologized, but I expect it will happen again, and shall do my best to react in a non co-dependent manner. Imagine the ordeal of care giving for our ancestors.  No washing machines, dryers, adult diapers:  all the modern conveniences which ease the caregiver's burden.  I look at the records of my female ancestors and ask 'how did you raise children and keep house without losing your mind?"  Doing all that work, while being treated by society as a second class citizen.  I want to bring my female ancestors into the limelight--not easy, since they were poor, and didn't leave much of a record--just birth, death, or marriage notices.  Guess that meets the old rule of a lady is only mentioned in the newspapers three times:  when she is born, when she marries and when she dies.

A New Beginning

 The problem started with my Great Grandmother's death certificate, which listed her Father's name as Henry Hignell, and her Mother as Elizabeth Dimond.  I did many searches through genealogy databases and could not locate the correct Henry Hignell.  At that point, the Irish side of the family was easier to track, and that is without a national birth marrriage index, or any 19th century censuses.  ( The English said the Irish burned them to make more space for records, and the Irish retort that the Brits destroyed the records from spite).

Anyhow, it turned out that Henry Hignell was not Grandma Riley's father--but her Grandfather.  Her parents were John Dimond and Mary Elizabeth Hignell.   They were married in Newport, Monmouthshire, Wales.  Neither spouse was Welsh, but English who had emigrated to Wales looking for a better life.  The Hignell family came from Gloucester, and the Dimonds were from Devon.

Since our Dimond dna came from England, and not Ireland, I guess the family legend that Legs Diamond was a cousin is a nice story, and nothing more.  My Grandma was such a lady--she had the gracious lady act down to perfection, and I don't think it was much of an act--Grandma did not have royal or noble blood in her veins, but she was gentle, dignified, and kind--unless you crossed her, and then she became 'Snippy'

I promise to write an entry every day, and to then organize the writings into an article or book.  One question is why was Henry Hignell committed to the Joint Counties Lunatic Asylum?  Was it a penalty for being drunk and disorderly, or did he have some form of mental illness?  Why didn't he go to America with his daughter and her family in 1881?  How did his Sister, Mary Hignell, become the Sexton of a local church?